She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My vagina is officially offended.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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