How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
