Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
