we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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