i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
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We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
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You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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