I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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