Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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