weddingsv make me drug and hornr
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
