it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michael Bay diarrhea
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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