i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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