So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
