worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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