I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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