So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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