Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
