Ambien. No doubt about it.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize