I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
