Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
