it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize