Sry I called you an 8
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
