first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
