Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
