on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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