She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
