I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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