the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
