thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize