lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
