Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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