By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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