he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
