so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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