i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
