Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So much rum. So many feels.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
