R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I bet he comes in French.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
