according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
