i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
