Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
