Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
