Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
