I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
