you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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