ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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