Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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