And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
