i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
is it fun? or sober?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
