He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
