Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
