I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
