i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
