i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
