Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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