fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize