toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I will pee on everything he values.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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