You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
