Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
