I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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