fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize