It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
