If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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