Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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