Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
