remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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