Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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