The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
