They should really pass out barf bags in church
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
