Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
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Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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