i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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