sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
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